Sunday, November 08, 2009
I have high handed people who think they are god's gift to earth but never practice what they preach,
Wahhhh...
posted @ 9:33 PM
Monday, November 02, 2009
I will never forgive myself for not being able to achieve my goal and help the team win the coveted schedule... I cried that day out of fatigue and pressure... pressure that I can't deal with anymore... everywhere I turn the only things that are focused about are financial drivers... aht... the like...
and the fear of not being able to meet them is great and taking it's toll... even if I try hard enough, the side comments and snide remarks that are meant to tease still leave it's mark and venom... that only forms part a wound that would heal...
would you want to stay and work in this kind of place...sometimes that you feel that you have to watch your back all the time...for the fear of being stabbed in the dark... i've made my decision, it's not a place where i would want to develop and build my career...
I've had to many frustations that remain unanswered and monetary pay is not anymore a just compensation
posted @ 10:53 AM
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
I've been with my current company for 2 years now, last October 18th to be exact, two years, my life seems to be in a rut, seems I've never gone anywhere or done anything, I've been stagnant these past two years, I'm just a stone that's gathering moss,...
Try as I may in changing my attitude to reach my goal/s, bottomline is... I SUCK... big time...
I'm not givng up but maybe it's a oppurtunity to step back...
I've decided to switch career plans next year, I'm just finishing paying up and clearing up my credit cards and paying up my insurance, and we'll see what happens next...
I've been checking PUP open university and courses that they are offering, the reason is much cheaper and I don't think I have enough IQ for UP, courses in UP OPN U are kinda far out than in PUP, which I can use...
I firmly believe that when God closes a door, he does open a window, and I just have to have faith that God will provide and guide me in my path...
posted @ 3:18 AM
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I had snack with my officemates, and we were talking about relationships that are blossoming in the office. Office romace is quite the source of gossip lately. Seems a lot of couples are hooking up in the office. I envy being able to find someone you love, wherever you may be, some people are probably just born lucky to find the someone meant for them...
some people would ridicule the other person's appearance, but don't they know that once love has touched that person life, love changes and transforms that person...
if they only knew... the person that I almost said yes too...
It would probably be a shocker to them...
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we had a meeting at the office earlier regardng a metric, that needs to be met, a metric that I have been inconsistent with, they will be picking employees based on tenure and ranking on that metric, and would undergo some sort of "clinic" before under observation...
I've just notice that whenever I have this metric, I crack under pressure... physically
I'm just sure I'll be one of those "chooseN" ...
I'm putting it up to God, I will do my best to revive this... and entrusting myself to God... as the big guy upstairs never let me down before...
Inspite of all the trials that came my way... he always took care of me and my needs...
Lord, I'm leaving everything up to you now... I promise to work on this and do my best... If I'm not fit to continue to work for this company, I know that you will find me a better one...
amen...
posted @ 2:54 AM
Sunday, October 11, 2009
just attended my departments' party, and made me think of my life, I'm feeling in a rut right now, like somehow, I've never done anything to enrich myself... I be left behind... I don't know what I want anymore and achieving doesn't seem to matter anymore... thats all...
posted @ 9:32 AM
when you said maganda ka na... pero mas maganda ka ngayon...
ano ibig mong sabihin... dinaan kita di mo man lang ako tinignan..
bat ka pa nilipat ng pang umaga tas babawiin lang din...
ano ba ako sa yo... iniisip mo ba ako kahet sandali...
pinipilit kitang limuntan... pero dahil sa iyong muling pagdating. ayan na naman...
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i'm tired...
waiting for you...
never made any move...
you belong to her...
never made any intent on me...
posted @ 9:16 AM
Friday, September 04, 2009
I've gotten into a sticky situation with my boss, right now I would say the relationship is strained and probably, I would be booted out when team reshuffling happens, I just feel that it's a judgment call, i'm stressed that my stats are shitty and I'm tagged as one of the under achievers at work.
Did I tell you that I also cried the other day out of frustration... I feel that though I'm doing the right thing I'm chastised because of my stats and when I try to work on my stats I get dinged for quality. Geez... why just they don't tell to resign and look for another job, since I'm not productive and not bringing the moolah into the company anyways...
Then I remember I read the Freedom Writers Diary, their teacher believed in them, even when the students were tagged the meanest of the mean, they were called names by the other teachers and deemed would not amount to anything, but their teacher believed in them and they were able to overcome the labels that the other teachers gave them, they succeeded, graduating from high school and then going on to college...
The only difference between me and those kids, the teacher cared enough not to alienate her students, my boss could care less now that I've shown her my other side...
This isn't school, this work, it's every man for himself
To add insult to injury, I got a lower score in my performance rating... without any explanations, without any info why I got a low score, I'm not going to think about it anymore...
Because it hurts too much... and that would just make me want to leave work w/o any explanations...
It would make me just want to resign...
nuff said...
posted @ 12:49 AM
Thursday, July 30, 2009
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when I was in MRT earlier, I thought I saw ej, my former crush... the guy looked like him but he was wearing shades... i had to look back to see if it was him...
fat chance as the guy quickly moved away from my view...
kinda de ja vu....
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I saw mam'cel yesterday and i was sadded that she broke up with her bf... they seem to have the perfect relationship but again, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship
I would like to emulate her 5 year plan, as she's planning to the states, maybe I can switch jobs and work from home while finishing my mba's? studying spanish again and leaving home...
hmmm....
posted @ 3:17 AM
